Being Known

Out of all the people you know - your hundreds, perhaps thousands, of Facebook friends and Twitter followers - how many people actually KNOW the real you?

Even the most transparent people have thoughts, feelings, and personality traits that they rarely permit others (even close friends) to come in contact with. Why is this?

We like to be liked, so the best parts of our personalities are the ones we allow to reach the surface. We’re trained from an early age that we need to fit in, so we tend to suppress the things about us that might cause others to reject us. 

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) says this about a personality type that is strongly identified as someone who tends to be a popular and engaging people-person:

“The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves.”

Boy, do I know what that’s like. 

It doesn’t help that we all have that certain someone (or someones) who rejected us after we had allowed them unlimited access to our hearts and souls. “Never again,” we tell ourselves. “I’m better off alone.”

No we’re not.
We’re better off when we live in community.
We’re better off when we look in each others eyes, knowing the oddest and ugliest things about one another, and we have no fear of rejection.

To be known fully… and loved nonetheless. 

Tim Wildsmith